


Everything He Ever

by sperrywink



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-18
Updated: 2011-03-18
Packaged: 2017-10-17 02:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sperrywink/pseuds/sperrywink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt's father dies of his heart attack and that's just the beginning of Kurt's troubles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything He Ever

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by the BFF. All errors are mine. Written for Miryak for the Livejournal Community Kurt_Blaine 2010 KissKiss Exchange.

Kurt had thought the worst day of his life would always be the day his Mom died, but then his Dad died of a heart attack and he was thrust into the Child Welfare System. Soon he discovered things could be much, much worse.

Things were bearable at first. He was moved to a temporary foster home in Lima and was still able to go to McKinley. The foster home parents were nice, but Kurt didn’t get too close to them, partly because he missed his Dad terribly and partly because he knew he wouldn’t be staying with them for long. Then a permanent place was found for him in a Group Home in Columbus and he was uprooted and his life went to hell.

There were six other boys in the group home. Kurt shared a room with two of them while the other four were in the two other bedrooms. His roommates weren’t too bad, but there was another boy in the home who was a greater bully than any Kurt had had to deal with at McKinley. His name was Alan Madison and he had been in foster care all his life. He was big and burly and liked to threaten the other boys with beatings to get them to do his bidding. The first time Kurt tried to refuse Madison he left the encounter with a bruised kidney, sore stomach, a bloody nose, and the loss of his iPod. Madison told him that he had gone light on him since he was new and didn’t know how things were. Kurt was curled up in pain on the floor and had a boot print on his stomach, so he wasn’t able to appreciate the kindness of the gesture just then.

Kurt mourned his lost iPod terribly. It was the last remaining link to his old life and his sense of self; it was so hard getting through the day with no music to lift his soul up. Still Kurt had never been one to back down from bullies or let them see how affected he was by their actions, so he kept his head up high and refused to bow to Madison.

Unfortunately, the beatings got worse the more he refused to acquiesce, and Kurt began to understand how hopeless his situation was. Going to the Group Home counselors just resulted in harsh punishments for both Madison and Kurt for fighting, and Madison would corner him afterwards and make Kurt’s sore body even worse.

Still Kurt might have been able to adjust, except Madison changed his game before Kurt had a chance to acclimate to these new circumstances. After a particularly hard punch which doubled Kurt over in pain, Madison stopped hitting him, which was shocking in and of itself. Kurt gasped and tried to breathe as his body tensed waiting for the next blow to hit. Instead, Madison said, “You know, Hummel, if you aren’t going to cooperate, I’m going to have to make you pay in other ways. I can’t let you get away with rebellion. This is my roost and there is no way I am letting one of you assholes take over from me.”

Speaking as clearly as his injury would allow, Kurt said, “I just want to be left alone.”

“Just by being here, you’re not alone. I would give you another chance, but you’ve run out. Tonight, I’m going to take what’s mine.” And then Madison leaned real close to Kurt and whispered, “Your sweet ass is mine.”

Back in his old life, Kurt would never have taken the threat seriously. Who said things like that, after all? But he had become familiar with Madison’s style of justice and order and knew this was no joke or euphemism. He surreptitiously packed his backpack and snuck out of the house after lights out but before Madison could find him. It had been the longest month of his life. He just hoped the future would be better.

* * *

  
Once Kurt blew most of his money on a bus ticket to L.A., he didn’t know what to do or where to go. His first choice in running away would have been Mercedes' house in Lima, but he knew that was also the first place they would look for him. There was just no way he was getting thrown back into the Group Home so easily. He wasn’t stupid. He knew the options for a runaway fifteen year old weren’t numerous. He knew he would end up on the street, probably selling himself in order to afford to eat. But he had accepted that having his sex life be by his own choice, even if it reflected bad choices, was worth not having it forcibly taken from him. He thought again of Madison and shuddered. L.A. it was.

Wandering around the neighborhood surrounding the bus station, Kurt felt exposed. He knew it was obvious how lost and young he was. He again wished for his Dad and had to choke back his tears. He missed him more every day. It had gotten easier over time when his Mom had died, but then he had had his Dad. With no one to lean on now, the ache was fresh every day.

The day progressed and Kurt wandered farther and farther from the station. The sun was starting to set and he was beginning to despair of his chances at figuring out what to do or where to go when he turned the corner and heard the singing. Further up the street, almost to the next block, he saw a group of raggedy boys around his age casually leaning against the wall and singing in eight part harmony.

His heart beat double time at finding a group singing like his old Glee Club. He was entranced by their music and their voices rising together. It had been a couple months since the loss of his iPod. He had missed music so much.

His feet carried him towards them almost of their own volition. The boys would sing a couple bars and then stop and argue about the arrangement. It was the weirdest scene Kurt had ever come across. He never would have expected that obviously homeless teens would be as into music and singing as he and the rest of his former Glee Club were. If he had thought about it, which he was doing now, he would expect them to be down-trodden and surly, pulled down by the weight of their circumstances.

Kurt finally stopped approaching them when he was a couple yards away. He listened as the song, “Soul Sister” by Train, came together. He yearned to add his voice, let it provide a bit more lift to the song, but he restrained himself. He had learned that much over the past weeks. He didn’t stop himself from humming softly under his breath, though. He figured that would be safe.

Finally one of the boys noticed him and nudged the boy next to him. Like a wild fire the awareness spread through the boys until they were all looking at Kurt silently. Kurt blushed. Feeling stupid and dorky he cleared his throat and gave a little wave. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you; you were just so amazing.”

More silence followed and Kurt shifted restlessly. Were they waiting for him to leave? Maybe he was breaking some unwritten rule. Thinking of Madison and how restless boys enforced their rules, he took half a step back. Then the lead singer, after a wordless conference with two other boys, stepped forward. “What’s your name, New Kid?”

“Kurt.” Kurt debated asking to sing with them, he wanted to desperately, but even he knew that would probably be out of line.

“Is that a Marc Jacobs original jacket?”

Kurt smiled. “It’s my favorite.” He left it unsaid that it was his only possession of worth and a year old. He figured that was obvious. He was just lucky that Madison knew nothing of clothes and hadn’t paid attention to Kurt’s except to tell him he dressed like a geek.

The other boy gave him a blinding smile in return. It was the kindest expression anyone had given him since he entered the Group Home. He felt like crying all over again. “You’ll want to keep an eye on it. Some people won’t hesitate to try and take it from you.” The other boy walked forward and held out his hand. “I’m Blaine and we’re The Warblers.”

After shaking hands, Kurt wrapped his arms around himself to keep from grabbing hold of Blaine and never letting go. Blaine’s friendliness was warming Kurt more than the L.A. sun had. Feeling brave, Kurt said, “You guys wouldn’t happen to be looking for a counter-tenor, would you?”

Blaine turned around to the other boys, and more wordless communication happened. The other two boys Blaine had conferred with earlier, who seemed to be in charge, stepped forward. Blaine said, “These are Wes and David.”

Wes said, “Hey Kurt. We weren’t looking for a one, but we’re open to it.” Kurt checked the faces of the other boys behind Wes and David. Their looks ranged from friendly to bored, but no one looked hostile.

Kurt asked, “I could sing something?”

Wes said, “Knock yourself out.” He then leaned back slightly and nodded encouragingly at Kurt. Blaine gave Kurt a smile and nodded as well.

After giving it thought for a second, there was only one song Kurt wanted to sing. Closing his eyes and picturing his Dad, Kurt began to sing “I Want to Hold Your Hand.”

He held the last note and let it soften into silence. He opened his eyes, not sure what to expect from the boys in front of him. Most were looking at him with more friendliness than before, luckily. Wes, David, and Blaine walked a bit distant and talked in hushed tones. Kurt shifted his weight from foot to foot. Blaine came back and said, “Kurt, welcome to The Warblers.”

Kurt wanted to throw his arms around Blaine, he was so happy. Possibly getting to sing again was an amazing feeling. Before Kurt could hide his embarrassment and happiness, Blaine patted him on the back and whispered, “It’s okay, New Kid.” Kurt simply beamed at him.

* * *

  
Kurt spent the rest of the daylight rehearsing with The Warblers. He could feel the veil of contentment that fell over him as he got to sing and argue about arrangements with the other boys. He hadn’t felt so at home since he was pulled out of McKinley. As the sun sunk past the buildings, the boys peeled off and headed out into the gloom. Trepidation grew in Kurt’s stomach. He had nowhere to go.

Finally it was only Kurt, Blaine, Wes, and David. Wes said, “We practice every chance we get, but at the very least three days a week. That’s always here. It’s convenient and the neighbors don’t care. The rest of the days, we’re performing over in Hollywood where ever and whenever we can get away with it. Meet us here tomorrow morning and we’ll practice some more. Show you the choreography.”

Kurt nodded and bit his lip. “You wouldn’t happen to know a place to sleep, would you? I’ve only got a couple bucks.”

Getting nods from Wes and David, Blaine stepped forward and put his arm around Kurt. “You can hang with me. I’ll show you the ropes. We three usually share a room, so we have some extra space for you. Your money will go farther this way. ”

Relieved, Kurt still protested. “I don’t want to put you out.”

Blaine simply tugged Kurt forward as he said, “I had a good night last night. I can afford a day off. And one fourth of a room is cheaper than one third.”

“I guess.” Kurt pictured how Blaine probably earned the money and he blushed. He wanted to ask questions, but he didn’t know if that was okay. Blaine had been friendly and welcoming from the start and Kurt didn’t want to upset him and lose the first friend he’d made here.

With thoughts racing through his head, Kurt meekly followed Blaine as he started a brisk pace down the street. They ended up in an alleyway behind a strip mall. They stopped outside one of the doors and Blaine started rooting through the trash bin. “This is the Marcos Bakery. They have the best dumpster diving. They like everything fresh, so barely stale food gets thrown out regularly. And you don’t have to worry if they see you. They’re pretty friendly.”

Kurt sidled forward and sighed. In a vague way he had suspected he would be rooting through the trash to eat when he had run away, but the reality was stark and startling. He thought wryly that even outside of McKinley he couldn’t get away from dumpsters. He pushed up the sleeves of his jacket and began rifling through the trash with Blaine.

With an excited sound, Blaine pulled a clear bag of bagels from his side of the dumpster. “I love their cinnamon raisin bagels.”

Kurt looked over at Blaine and was helpless to stop his besotted smile. He knew he must look goofy, but Blaine looked so charming and happy. He looked back down at the garbage and again began sifting through it, admittedly half-heartedly. He hated that this was his life now, but as he kept telling himself, three meals a day wasn’t worth the sexual assault. Kurt found a bag of cookies and pulled them out. Before he could comment, Blaine was taking it out of his hands and turning it in the lamplight. “Excellent! Wes loves their cookies, particularly the sugar ones. Good find!”

Kurt smiled back. Blaine said, “Do you have room in your backpack for these? There is one more place I’d like to go before we head home.”

“Sure.” Kurt bent around to take off his backpack and dropped it to the ground. He wiped down both bags before putting them inside.

Blaine pulled Kurt to his feet and slung his arm around Kurt again after Kurt had repositioned his backpack. Except his Mom back when she was still alive, no one had ever been this physically affectionate to Kurt. Intellectually Kurt knew not to read too much into it, but his body was relishing every touch and it was making him fall for Blaine over and over again.

They walked out of the alleyway and down the street. Kurt tried to pay attention to landmarks, but soon enough he was completely lost again. Blaine kept up a steady conversation about the various businesses and homes they passed. Which were friendly towards them and which were nasty and hated them for existing. It was all overwhelming to Kurt. Finally they stopped at a little Mexican grocery store. Blaine said, “We like to buy food here when we have the money. It’s close to home and the owner sometimes lets us buy on credit. He’s a good guy.”

They walked into the store, the little bell attached to a chain on the door ringing out. There were about six cramped aisles, most crammed with food with Spanish writing on the wrappings. Kurt followed Blaine to the back where Blaine picked a small thing of cheddar cheese, some butter, and milk from the refrigerated section. At the counter, Blaine smiled at the clerk and said, “Hola, Señor Marquez.”

The clerk tilted his head back slightly so he could see through his glasses better. He smiled at Blaine and then scrutinized Kurt. Kurt blushed at the attention. Señor Marquez said, “Hola Blaine. A new boy, eh?”

Blaine nodded as he pulled some wrinkled dollar bills from his back pocket. “Yup. And he can sing like a dream.”

Señor Marquez heaved a heartfelt sigh. “I swear you kids get younger every day. “

Blaine shrugged and Kurt looked down. He knew he was thin and looked younger than he was, but he also suspected that Señor Marquez wouldn’t find fifteen mature at all. And he was right. Kurt hadn’t felt so young and clueless in a long time.

They paid for the items and Señor Marquez put them in a bag, wishing them a good evening. Blaine waved goodbye cheerily enough and Kurt managed a smile for him. He knew it wasn’t Señor Marquez’s fault Kurt was on the streets and if Señor Marquez was a friendly face, than that mattered a lot. Kurt had learned that much since his Dad had died.

* * *

  
They walked another couple blocks to a flea-bitten hotel promising hourly and weekly rates. Kurt’s heart beat double time at the looks he and Blaine got from the other patrons. At least from the ones that weren’t passed out drunk. Kurt felt exposed and dirty just from their looks. Kurt shuffled closer to Blaine who seemed oblivious to them. Kurt was relieved when they reached the stairwell and were out of sight of the other patrons hanging in the front room.

Blaine stopped at a caged counter and banged on it to get the clerk’s attention off the TV he was watching. The clerk looked up, scowled at Blaine, but held up a key. Blaine took some twenties from his front pocket and Kurt hastily took out some of the money he had saved for this moment. He gave it to Blaine, who smiled at him and gave their money to the clerk after counting it and giving a twenty back to Kurt. The clerk nodded at them and handed the key over. They walked up two flights of stairs, finally coming to a nondescript door with a painted, chipped 2H on it. Blaine took out the key and opened the door with a flourish. He grinned at Kurt and said, “Home, sweet hovel.”

It surprised a little laugh out of Kurt, and Blaine’s smile grew to blinding proportions. Kurt closed the door and looked over the room. The wallpaper, a garish striped pattern, was peeling and there were water stains on the ceiling. There were two small beds with a beat-up dresser between them. The blankets on the beds were worn with holes here and there. One was green while the other was brown. Sitting on the green bed, Blaine said, “You can put the groceries on the dresser. Wes and David should be here soon for dinner.”

“You share this room with Wes and David?” Kurt took the two bags out of his backpack and put them next to the sack of groceries Blaine had bought.

“Whatever room we can afford. We paid for a week just now. They’ll get the other bed. I hope you don’t mind sharing with me or I guess you can take the floor if you’re uncomfortable. I figure either way it’s better than sleeping in some doorway.”

“Whatever is easiest for you.” Kurt looked again at the small beds. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Are you all gay?”

Blaine laughed briefly. “Wes and David aren’t. I am, though. I get it if that makes you uncomfortable.” Now Blaine looked chagrinned and a bit upset.

Kurt, hating that look on his face, put his hand on Blaine’s arm. “I don’t mind. I mean, I’m gay too. It would be quite hypocritical of me to mind.”

“Still that doesn’t mean you feel comfortable sharing a bed with me. I get it.”

Sighing in frustration, Kurt said, “No, really, that isn’t the problem. I just never have shared before. This is all new to me and you’ve been great. I just don’t want to inconvenience you more, you know? Make you tired of me.”

Blaine finally smiled, a small smile, but it was enough to soothe Kurt. His understanding and acceptance was becoming addictive to Kurt. “I do get it. I was you not too long ago.”

“Is it an unforgiveable faux pas to ask how you ended up here?”

Shrugging, Blaine met his eyes. They were sad, but defiant. “Not really. My parents found out I was gay and kicked me around and then kicked me out. They’re super religious.”

Kurt grimaced. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, really, it’s okay to ask. If someone doesn’t want to talk they’ll just tell you to fuck off. No harm, no foul.” Looking mildly curious, Blaine continued, “Do you mind me asking what brought you here?”

Now it was Kurt’s time to shrug. He took a deep breath in order to find a calm place within so that he could talk about his Dad without breaking down. “My Dad died. And, well, Child Service’s Group Homes weren’t as safe as I was led to believe. Especially for someone like me.” He waved a hand indicating his slight stature and everything else about him that made him different.

Blaine pursed his lips and nodded. “And your Mom?” He sounded almost afraid to ask.

“She died when I was younger. It was just me and my Dad.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.” Silence descended on them, but it wasn’t as awkward as Kurt would have suspected from being alone with a virtual stranger and their topic of conversation. Blaine stood up, rubbing his hands on his thighs, and then began sorting out the food. Feeling braver and more at home, Kurt settled on the green bed where Blaine had been. After a couple minutes, Blaine was finished and settled next to him. “We’ll eat when Wes and David get home.”

Kurt merely nodded and settled his head against the wall, closing his eyes. Feeling safe for the first time since he was forced out of his house by Child Services, he was struck by the irony. A flophouse in L.A. would never be considered safe by a sane person. But Kurt’s standards were a lot different now and he felt he had become a good enough judge of character to know he could trust Blaine.

* * *

  
Kurt must have fallen asleep because he jerked awake when the door slammed open and a laughing Wes and David entered. They smiled at Blaine and Kurt as they crowded onto the other bed, dropping three backpacks on the floor in front of it. They must have been holding Blaine’s for him. The small part of Kurt that had been uneasy about his welcome, loosened at their smiles.

David asked, “Did you guys find anything good?”

Blaine jumped up and began preparing food. “We have buttered bagels and cheese and Kurt found cookies for dessert.”

His eyes lighting up, Wes asked, “Sugar?”

Blaine grinned at Kurt and Kurt chuckled in reply. Turning his smile to Wes, Kurt was the one to say, “Sugar and chocolate chip.”

Wes grinned back at him and gave him a thumbs up. He said, “Right on!” and they all laughed. Blaine commenced buttering the bagels and cutting the cheese as David found some mismatched cups to pour the milk into. Kurt accepted his bagel, cheese, and glass of milk with a smile for both of them. Once everyone had food Blaine settled back next to Kurt. Starving, Kurt couldn’t help making small pleased sounds. He had forgotten how hungry he was.

Kurt would have felt embarrassed but everyone was eating with their own sounds of enjoyment, so he fit right in. Kurt hadn’t noticed it before, but the other boys were all skinny and he remembered that they hadn’t eaten all afternoon while they were singing. These boys were struggling as much as he was, at least by normal standards, even if he felt worse off than them. After finishing his bagel, breaking off a bit of cheese, Kurt said, “Can I ask you guys how The Warblers formed?”

David said, “You can ask…”

Kurt smiled. “But you’d have to kill me?”

Wes and David both grinned wholeheartedly and laughed. “Nothing that dramatic. We actually don’t know. The Warblers have been here long before any of us. We’re just carrying on the tradition.”

“That’s kind of heartening. In a dystopic Rent-the-musical kind of way.”

Blaine laughed. “So true. Nothing says heartening like prostitutes finding solace in song. Just ask Moulin Rouge.”

Kurt pushed Blaine’s shoulder and scowled at him, but unable to resist the laughter of the others, Kurt also joined in. He also filed away the thought that Blaine was open about what he and the other boys were. Maybe he wouldn’t mind even more personal questions from Kurt.

The four boys finished their meal and Wes cleaned their cups and the knife Blaine had used. They talked far into the night, the other boys not tired since they were usually out working the streets at this hour. They were frank about their life without being too overwhelming for Kurt. They admitted that they didn’t often take nights off, but Wes had had a rough customer the night before, while Blaine had had a good night, so they could afford to and had a reason to.

Feeling stupid, Kurt asked, “I may have seen too many movies, but don’t you have to protect your territory?”

David said, “Actually that part of the movies is spot on, but the other Warblers will take care of it for one night. We watch each other’s backs.”

Without shame or self-consciousness, the other three boys began undressing for bed and Kurt found himself blushing and turning his eyes away. He mentally berated himself that these boys wouldn’t beat him up for looking or be scared of his gayness, but old habits were hard to break and these had been ingrained into Kurt. More slowly, Kurt took off his jacket, folding it along the seams and placing it on the dresser. Uncertainly he fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, shooting a glance over towards Blaine. Blaine was indulgently staring back, with a smile and his hands on his hips. He said, “It’s okay, New Kid. It actually gets kind of cold at night; you might want to keep the rest of your clothes on.”

Wes and David were already safely ensconced on the other bed, lying head to toe with each other. David said, “It does get cold. I’m almost happy to be sharing with Wes even though his feet smell.”

Wes sleepily replied, “You love the way I smell, don’t front.”

Blaine climbed into the bed, sighing and shifting over to the far side by the wall. Blushing, Kurt knelt down to untie his shoes and take them off as well as his socks. He hated sleeping with socks on. When he stood up, Blaine was holding the blanket up for him. Telling himself that it meant nothing, he sat down on the bed and then swung his legs up and under the covers. They were lying face to face when Kurt turned his head. Blaine settled the blanket around them and quietly said, “You can worry about everything tomorrow. For now, just sleep.”

Choking up, in a whisper, Kurt said, “Thank you.”

Blaine just said, “Shush” as quiet fell over the room and one of the other boys turned off the light.

* * *

  
Kurt woke to weak sunshine coming in the small window and a heavy, warm arm around his waist. He wondered at how he had ended up here. L.A. was one of the cities of his dreams, but he had always envisioned taking the city by storm: awards and accolades falling at his feet, partying with all the Beautiful People, drinking sparkling champagne.

Reality was bafflingly visceral. The dingy room looked even dirtier in the burgeoning light, but the warmth of being held by a beautiful boy was a balm. Kurt knew it wasn’t real, but for just a moment he let his eyes close again and reveled in the feeling of being held close and imagined Blaine was his lover. That he was still loved by somebody in this world.

Once that thought hit him, he couldn’t bear the false intimacy a moment longer and he slipped from the bed, going to the window to look out at the road below. The sun was just rising and there was still a chill in the air. Blaine had been right and he had been thankful to keep his clothes on last night, even sharing a bed. The scene outside was depressing. Blowing old newspapers wafted down the street and everything looked worn and dusty. The stores across the way were all barred and the lamppost on the corner was obviously broken.

At first there was no sign of life, but then two boys turned the corner and started heading towards the motel and Kurt. Peering closer, Kurt thought they might be Warblers. They looked as worn out as the landscape and one boy was limping slightly. Kurt very carefully didn’t think about what the limp meant or about it being him one of these days soon. Still, Kurt watched them until they disappeared from sight underneath him.

Turning back towards the room, he looked at the boys who had provided a haven for him. Wes and David were snoring slightly, Wes hanging half off the bed; He didn’t seem bothered by the cold. David, on the other hand, was curled as tight as possible, huddled close to the wall.

Blaine was a quiet sleeper, but had rolled onto his back and now took up the whole bed. He shifted restlessly as Kurt watched indulgently. He felt like he had found a true friend, even if they had just met. Which wasn’t the same thing as having someone love him unconditionally, but it was a start. Feeling more positive after having gotten his equilibrium back; Kurt tip-toed back to the bed and tried to sneak back onto it without waking Blaine.

He failed, of course.

Blaine woke up as soon as Kurt eased into the limited space left for him. He stared at Kurt for a long second and then rolled backwards to make room. He asked huskily, “What time is it?”

Finishing his crawl onto the bed, Kurt whispered, “Early, go back to sleep.” Humming his agreement, Blaine closed his eyes. Kurt settled and sighed, letting his body curl slightly towards the warmth of Blaine. They lay there for a while, Kurt’s chilled limbs warming up from the blanket and body heat.

However, Kurt wasn’t surprised when Blaine quietly said, “I can’t believe I can’t go back to sleep. It’s gotta be like six a.m.”

“Sorry.”

Turning onto his side, Blaine squeezed his arm. “It’s cool. I know how strange this must all be to you. I’m surprised you slept at all. My first night with Wes and David, I was up most of the night waiting for one of them to attack me. I was a bit paranoid at that point.”

“I probably should have been more leery, but I like to think I’m a good judge of character, so I trusted my instincts.”

“That’s useful. Good instincts are a life-saver on the streets.”

Kurt hummed his agreement. It was still startling to realize that he was now a statistic. Just another kid living on the streets. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Are there any other options besides, you know?” Kurt still couldn’t say the word rentboy or even hooker. He still couldn’t believe that becoming one was a probability for him.

Blaine squeezed his arm again. “There’s panhandling, but that usually gives you just enough cash to eat, not to afford a place to sleep. Most kids start out that way, but quickly fall into hooking. Having a place to call your own is too enticing. Plus you don’t have to worry about getting rolled for your valuables while sleeping.”

“Oh.” Kurt was a bit blown away by how casually Blaine used the word hooking. Like it was an everyday kind of thing. Which for Blaine, it was, and it would be for Kurt and Kurt was again stunned at the turns his life had taken.

“You don’t have to worry about it now. You covered enough for a room for the week and we can always scrounge for food.”

“But I only have another thirty dollars. It’s going to become a reality sooner rather than later.”

“We’ll work something out. We can cover you for a while.”

“I can’t let you guys do that. That wouldn’t be fair, not when I can earn money.”

“Nothing is fair. Take the opportunity while it exists.” Kurt was torn. He really didn’t want to live off money other boys had sold themselves to get. That just seemed depraved to him. On the other hand, it wasn’t like he was all that eager to work the streets himself. Blaine must have seen his indecision because he added, “It really isn’t an imposition, not much of one anyway. And who knows, maybe something will happen in the next two weeks that makes it all mute. You never know.”

Nodding, Kurt said, “Okay.” Blaine was right. There was no point borrowing trouble now.

* * *

  
The next couple of days passed in a blur for Kurt. During the day it was filled with Warbler practice and Warbler performances in Hollywood, as well as scrounging for food. He then spent his evenings alone in their room, metaphorically biting his nails worrying about the other boys. He hadn’t fallen so far down as to really bite his nails, but he could suddenly see the appeal with nothing else to distract him from his thoughts. He wished fervently for his iPod again. He was beginning to realize that besides money, there might be other reasons to go out with the other boys every evening. That way he wasn’t stuck waiting all night for them to come home safe and sound.

He took to quietly singing to himself. Sometimes rehearsing his parts for the Warblers, but more often than not, just singing old favorites of his from Lady GaGa and Broadway. It reminded him of when his life was normal and he would sing to himself while listening to his dad make dinner.

While that was a breath of home, he also got to see behind the scenes of these boys’ lives and he began to understand where they came from and to realize that it mirrored his feelings of independence and control. No one wanted to sell themselves, but it was the one thing they had that was worth anything. By selling themselves, they could gain the slightest bit of control over the rest of their lives. Where they slept, who they hung out with, and what they could eat. This didn’t mean the streets weren’t rough; there had been a knife fight the night before between another Warbler and a John. The control might be illusionary, but it was the only kind available to them.

He remained closest to Blaine. Wes and David were already best friends, and although they made Kurt feel welcome, they often had Warbler things to deal with. Apparently Blaine was the main scrounger of their threesome, so Kurt followed him every day. He learned more places that were okay to scrounge from and what places to avoid. He also got more accustomed to the neighborhood and stopped feeling so incredibly lost.

In some ways he couldn’t believe how quickly he had fallen into a routine here. It felt almost like home, except without his Dad or McKinley. But he had a glee club, of sorts, and sunshine and if he sometimes wished for his Dad or even simply his iPod, he figured that was normal.

Blaine helped with the loneliness though. He was always happy to be with Kurt and to share his experience with him. Kurt stopped worrying about disrupting Blaine’s life and just began enjoying the company. It didn’t hurt that Blaine was beyond cute with his dark, curly hair and wide smile. Kurt knew he was falling for Blaine, he just didn’t know if he was falling for Blaine-the-boy or Blaine-the-savior. He tried to keep his feelings to himself as he teased out his motivations, but it was hard to keep the smiles off his face when Blaine was around.

Because of his distraction, he was totally surprised when Blaine kissed him on his fifth day with The Warblers. They were hanging out in their room waiting for Wes and David before eating dinner and it was all Kurt could have wished for in a first kiss- sweet and heated yet Blaine didn’t push Kurt for too much. Kurt savored the rush of feelings the kiss engendered, as Blaine simply held his hand tightly and let his lips brush again and again over Kurt’s. Kurt had a sudden moment of clarity and realized Blaine had wanted to do this for days which explained all the heated glances between them. He just hadn’t realized before because he had never had his longing looks reciprocated.

It would have been perfect except for the ticking clock in the back of Kurt’s mind which made the experience bittersweet. Both of them know Kurt was running out of time for innocence. His dreams of living in L.A. and having the perfect, loving boyfriend had come true, but it was like the Devil had granted his wishes instead of an Angel, so he was a homeless fifteen-year-old in the city of his dreams where his dream boy was a hooker. Still, Kurt found himself treasuring the kiss all the more because of it and he fell a little bit more in love with Blaine-the-boy, as he realized Blaine was just as nervous as he was, if judged by his sweaty palm.

As they broke apart, Kurt smiled at Blaine who looked uncertain. Blaine asked, “Was that all right?”

“That was perfect.” Kurt had never meant anything more.

Blaine reached up and toyed with Kurt’s bangs. “I wasn’t sure you felt the same way.”

“I totally do. You have no idea how much.” As a huge smile bloomed on Blaine’s face, the butterflies in Kurt’s stomach danced in excitement. He no longer cared about saviors or mentors, but just the boy in front of him, which he guessed answered his questions. Blaine’s hand slid around to Kurt’s cheek and guided Kurt’s mouth back to his. Kurt settled into the second kiss, it was slightly deeper this time, with open mouths and bent heads to better fit their lips together.

They kissed like that until Wes and David came home. Then Blaine broke the kiss with a laugh as Wes and David slapped him on the back and said at the same time, “It’s about time!” Blushing, Kurt’s laughter joined the rest and then it was all chaos as they settled down to their meal of expired yogurt, day-old bread, and apples. And then it was time for the other boys to leave and Kurt’s heart clenched. Blaine obviously noticed the look on his face because he told the other two, “I’ll catch up with you in a minute.”

Wes and David nodded and left the room, closing the door gently. Blaine said, “Hey,” and pulled Kurt into his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.”

“It kinda is, though. I know what I am and I still kissed you.”

Now it was Kurt’s turn to hold onto Blaine tightly. “What you are is an amazing guy. I was just being stupid for a second.”

“What I am is a hooker. You deserve better.”

Blaine tried to pry Kurt’s arms from around his waist, but Kurt wouldn’t budge. “Shut up. I am a week away from being a hooker too. I just hate that those men can touch you and not know how special you are. It’s not you that has me upset.”

Finally giving up and relaxing in Kurt’s arms, Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s shoulder as he said, “I’m still sorry.”

“Every relationship has something to overcome. We just have a tougher hill. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t care for you.” Kurt almost said love, but figured it was too soon even if he was beginning to think it was true. He finally let Blaine go and finished with, “I’ll be here when you get home. Be safe.”

Blaine kissed him desperately and Kurt responded in kind. They clung to each other for a moment and then Blaine broke away and went out the door. Kurt slumped onto their bed and remembered the last couple of mornings waking up with Blaine’s arm innocently tucked around him. That had quickly become his favorite moment of the day, when they were both groggy with sleep, but clutching each other for warmth and solace. Even if he now knew it wasn’t as platonic as he had thought, the new knowledge just made the memories sweeter.

* * *

  
It was a long night for Kurt. He tried not to imagine what Blaine was going through, but his thoughts turned again and again to him. From talking with the other boys, he knew the sex they participated in wasn’t sexy to them, but there was still forced intimacy that they all struggled with at first. Kurt wondered if Blaine was as torn up inside as he was and whether they could really be boyfriends while selling themselves to other people.

When finally the night was pinking into day, the other boys came home. Wes and David looked concerned and Blaine looked drained. Kurt jumped up wanting to hug Blaine, but not sure if he would be welcome now. Blaine’s gaze found his immediately but he minutely shook his head. “Let me take a shower first.”

Kurt’s shoulders slumped as Blaine found some sweatpants and then trudged out of the room. Wes and David were still there, moving about silently. Kurt didn’t know the proper actions in asking your boyfriend’s best friends about his night hooking. Would it be unforgivable to bring it up? Before he could decide, Wes walked by him with his own sweatpants and briefly squeezed his shoulder. “Give him a little time. It was a rough night for him.”

Kurt nodded jerkily. As Wes and David also left the room heading for the bathroom, Kurt clasped his arms around his waist and breathed deeply for a couple seconds. As a mantra he repeated to himself that everything would be fine. They would get through this. He wasn’t going to lose the first good thing to come into his life since his Dad died, not if he could help it. Shaking off his thoughts, he changed into his own pajamas and settled on the bed to wait for Blaine.

When Blaine came back into the room he put his clothes on the floor by their bed, but then just stood there not looking at Kurt. Kurt sighed and stood up so he could put his arms around Blaine’s stiff shoulders. He whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not you who needs to say that. You weren’t the one out there tonight.” Blaine still hadn’t wrapped his arms around Kurt in return and Kurt knew he would have to tiptoe delicately through this conversation in order to not lose the best thing in his life.

Deciding to take a different track in the conversation, Kurt said, “I don’t see you any differently, you know. You’re still the boy who saved me from the streets and offered me a home. I love that boy, no matter what.” He knew it would be too soon for the love word under normal circumstances, but these were far from normal. And if he didn’t risk it now, he may never get another chance. He regretted not using it in the beginning of the evening now that it was obvious Blaine needed him as much as he needed Blaine.

Blaine took a shuddery breath and rested his forehead on Kurt’s shoulder. “I want to be a better person for you. I want to save you from this life, save both of us, but I don’t know how.”

“I know.” Kurt didn’t offer any platitudes about how things would be better. He had learned that often things just sucked and there was no relief. He did add, “I don’t know how to save us either, but I’d rather be with you than not.”

Blaine nodded his head and finally pulled Kurt into a fierce hug. Kurt wanted to cry he was so relieved. He said, “Come to bed.”

They settled on the bed, holding each other close as they waited for Wes and David to come back. Kurt held Blaine close as Blaine laid half on top of him with one leg between Kurt’s and his head on Kurt’s chest. Wes and David came trooping in and David smiled when he looked over at Blaine and Kurt. He surreptitiously gave Kurt a thumbs up and Kurt smiled back at him, not releasing his hold on Blaine.

Wes and David turned off the light and went to bed and soon their snores filled the room. Kurt knew Blaine wasn’t asleep, he was holding himself too stiffly, so he began rubbing his hand gently along Blaine’s back to soothe him. Ever so slowly, Blaine relaxed and finally melted into Kurt. Kurt kissed the top of his head, but didn’t stop rubbing.

They both eventually fell into exhausted sleep, but Kurt fought it off until he knew Blaine was out first. Then he kissed Blaine’s forehead again and let his eyes finally close.


End file.
